High Tide

Now, I'm not a huge fan of the ocean, it's big, disturbingly flat, and I'll be honest the odor of salt and rotting seaweed isn't a candle I'd buy. I'm much more of a mountain girl, but here I am living at the beach...

My point is, today I went for a nice run along the shore...I've been having such a hard time lately, just accepting where I am and letting the little joys in, but today everything was ok. There was a nice breeze and my body just seemed to fall into perfect rhythm; my feet gently thudding on to the sand, scaring up flocks of obnoxious seagulls and dodging the waves breaking on the shore...

I made it back up the hill to the house and finished up with some sun salutes on the grass, so in tune with everything around me. Emotions really are like the tide, I know it's cliche and overused, but going to bed one night with an aching pit in your stomach, mind swirling full of doubts and uncertainties, just wanting someone to be close...to a few days later being completely at peace and content with the world, breathing in that sick salt air and smiling at that very flat ocean.

consistently inconsistent

We grow up in a world where we have little say, we are, for the most part, completely shaped and molded by our surroundings. Often we hold the same views as our parents, we like the same things are friends do, we are taught how to act and what to want, and what life is all about. Then we are thrown out on our own. Suddenly everything is up to us, for the first time we have total control over where we go, what we do, and ultimately our beliefs and worldviews begin to shift. Our twenties are the time when our brain is still adapting, creating pathways and changing...but for the first time we have total control. Which, I have come to realize, means that these years, our twenties, are utter chaos.

Ask me what I want today and you will get a different answer than you would've last week, and whatever I tell you is certain to be something different from what you would hear if you were to ask tomorrow. One day I'm terribly lonely, the next I just need space. One day I think I can't stand to be in this place anymore, the next I'm afraid to leave.

I love to prepare and eat healthy whole foods, I practice yoga every day, I love to dance, I want to be an environmental engineer and change the world. I don't know what I believe, or where I will be in six months, but there is something terribly beautiful and exciting about that.

I've always found writing to be soothing and a wonderful sounding board for my experiences and emotions. I hope this blog will be a beneficial platform for me to chronicle my experiences: culinary, yogic, and just plain life. If you stop by to read, bear with me :)